Sorry, this is going to be my rant. It’s not gonna be pretty, and if I don’t want to hear me complain, it may be best to stop reading. This blog is for me to vent…maybe there will be a little rhetorical analysis, but mostly venting…sorry Brett.
Why do people say “Happy Holidays"? Is it because they think that the holidays are a happy time? Is it because they want you to have a happy holiday? Or is it because they think you are having a crappy holiday and saying you “happy” holiday will make it better? Personally, when I say it, I try to say “have a happy holiday.” Why, you may ask? Because for me and my family, the holidays are never “happy.” I cannot remember a birthday I didn’t get yelled at. Nearly every Christmas isn’t merry. There is always a fight.
Let’s go for the most recent example. Thanksgiving was two days ago (yes, that was a Thursday, my blog was due then, sorry Brett, another fail). I started the whole thing off on a negative note although unintentionally. Have you ever accidentally texted the wrong person? Well, I commited this cardinal sin on Thursday. “omg…I’m gonna need a drink to put up with Amy…ugh, it’s awful.” Oh yeah, I sent that to Amy, quite unintentionally. Do you have a relative or have you ever met anyone who is terribly annoying and is impossible to deal with no matter how hard you try? Oh yeah, that’s Amy for me and most of my family members. Bad start, my fault.
Then, we went to my cousin’s house. Well, that was the biggest mistake of the year. When we got there, things were fine at first, but it didn’t last. Shortly after arriving, Amy completely clammed up. What was up? I found out shortly thereafter that my cousin, Lesley, who doesn’t know how to keep her mouth closed, got stuck talking with Amy. During their conversation, Amy disclosed that she is talking about filing for bankruptcy again, for the third time in her life. Lesley, feeling all high and mighty went on to say “well, it must be nice not having to pay your bills. When I acquire debt, it’s I pay it off like an honest person. When money is tight, I don’t buy plasma televisions like you, I eat a little less that month.” Needless to say, the next 4 hours were awkward and quiet. Don’t get me wrong, Lesley had every right to think that, and Amy needed to be called out on her crap, but at Thanksgiving? Really? Couldn’t you just bite your tongue?
I know you don’t have the background, so you may ask why was it such a big deal? Amy is 37 years old. I am 21. My parents don’t help me much with rent, tuition, or books. My debt acrues because I think it's wrong to take advantage of someone else, especially my retired parents. Lesley feels that as she is paying off her student loans, she can’t indulge in the luxuries. Yet, Amy doesn’t get it and always tries to play the victim. She buys new cars, new TV’s, new everything…then, like any normal (although, not good) American, she files bankruptcy. She also mooches off of my parents. She planned a vacation, then had my mom paid for it (despite the fact that my parents haven't been on a real vacation in the last 20 years). When she broke up with her husband, my parents completely furnished her new apartment with all new furniture…just like every other time my parents have bought her anything, she has destroyed it. When bills are tight, she gets a new dog, and treats it to the luxuries…her dog eats more expensive food than I ever have. Then, when the bills pile up, she “borrows” more money from my parents, who, mind you, are retired. I don’t even let my parents pay part of my credit card bill when they offer because I know they are retired and money is tight. But, Amy doesn’t seem to get it. She even said yesterday how it upset her that she couldn’t go to Sears to get the 42” TV at Sears on sale for $500. Then, she mentioned maybe she’ll just ask my mom and dad for the money, or not pay her rent next month (guess whose name the apartment is in? You guessed it; in my parents name b/c my sister has nothing for credit).
Segwaying away from Amy, my other sisters also blew us off for the holidays. My sister, Chrissy, told my mother that she was going over to her boyfriends' house for the holiday. Then, I caught her red-handed online when my other sister (who didn't return our calls about coming over for Thanksgiving) posted that she had a great Thanksgiving hanging out with Chrissy and my nephews. So, she blew us off, and much worse, she lied about it. When I confronted her at work the next day about it (yes, I work with her back at home), she denied ever saying that she was going to her boyfriend's family's home...yeah right.
Now, my parents in the basement are fighting over whose kids are worse and who has handled this whole situation worse (I have no full blood sisters...Amy is my mom's daughter; Chrissy, Carrie, and my two brothers are half-siblings on my fathers' side). I can't wait to get back to Ann Arbor and the peace and quiet.
The first paper I wrote in college was about how my family is broken and doesn't seem to care about anyone but themselves. I thought it only to be in classic fashion to end college on the same note. There are ups and downs in this family, but overall, mostly downs. Sorry to have complained, but maybe you found reading this blog to be interesting like watching a drama or comedy. Please, no sympathy replies...I don't want your sympathy.
So, I guess for English 225, my point would be that you should think next time about it when you say “Happy Holidays” or “Merry Christmas.” I’m not saying don’t say these things, because it is nice to say them to people. My point is just to think about them, and maybe say “I hope you have a merry Christmas” or “Have a good holiday.” I don’t mean to be the scrooge who, in response to the statement “Good Morning,” says “what’s so good about it?” But, saying an extra few words at the beginning of the generic greetings shows that you really do wish the person the best, and that you are not just saying that the holidays are happy for everyone, because they’re not.
I hope you had a Happy Holiday!
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The holidays can really be a rough time, especially from those of us who come from roughly hewn families. I suppose most would describe there families as such, but there is a certain dread of holidays to which I can relate. . . . At my age, I have begun to take over the holiday hosting and responsibilities, and what has been nice about that has been the creating of new traditions and ways to create new ways of experiencing those times. I wonder if there is such a thing as a family dynamic to rhetoric? There is certainly a family dimension to identity--whether trying to be like them or trying to escape them. And for lack of something better to write in this very public space, I will wish that you have a safe and restful holiday season, wherever that may be and with whomever you choose to spend it.
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