Improving my identity as a writer...

Who am I today?


In my first blog, I was a terrified science student. I pretended like I was successful, and hid behind the false image of a successful student who had many job and volunteer experiences. Also, my identity at that time was largely tied up in high school; in my first blog, I wrote about the clubs I was in during high school, where I grew up, and so on. And although I had just received my concentration release and knew I was almost to graduation, I didn’t feel that “college student” was a large part of my identity. This semester I took smaller classes, led two study groups, and worked in a lab. Now, I feel like I have become more of a scientist and college student, although I still strongly associate with my home life. I feel like a beginning expert in the field of biochemistry, rather than just a student taking introductory classes because they are required. And through exploring the Teach for America program and other career paths, I feel like I am more confident in my decision to pursue medicine. Although I wasn’t accepted into Teach for America, I feel like I learned a lot about the interview process, the “real world,” and my wants and interests. Overall, I feel like I have made more changes in my self-image than during this semester than any other, and am appreciative for the successes and failures I have experienced.

In evaluating my first blog and my identity as a writer, my writer identity was somewhat grim. In that blog, I tried to put all of my accomplishments out on the table with the hope that my English teacher and English class would see that I was a hard worker, even if I wasn’t a good writer.

Before this class, I always thought that I was a mediocre writer. Although I still believe that I am better at science and math than English, I definitely believe that I have improved my writing. Before this class, I often got good grades on writing assignments in other classes by just following the rubric. Now, I understand the value of analyzing each rhetorical move I make. Rather than just using a quote because it looks good, I try to evaluate if it will elicit the effect I think it will have in the reader, and whether that effect is conducive to the my argument.

When I started writing my blogs, I had two audiences in mind: my teacher and myself. When I wrote my blogs, I wanted to impress Brett, so I added statistics, quoted a few sources, and tried to integrate my ideas. At other times, I felt like the blog was a space to just get my ideas out of my mind and on paper so I could clarify what I was thinking. At the start of the semester, I had no intentions of appealing to my classmates or to my readers; I just wanted a good grade. I think that my mindset has changed. Now, when I write a paper or a blog, I think more thoroughly about who will be reading it (although occasionally my blogs are mostly for reflection and personal interest). Rather than just delving into my argument, I give background information. For example, if I want to discuss how Hochschild’s theory applies to teachers, I now realize that the audience may not even know what Hochschild’s theory is. Therefore, I explain background information before making my argument. Also, when I persuade, I feel like I have to make my audience identify with my general opinions or find a common ground to relate to them and make them feel comfortable. As Maurice Charland explains, you must “constitute” your audience by hailing them and making them comfortable with the perspective you are coming from. Unless you get your audience to identify with what you are arguing, you will never be able to motivate them to action or even agree with you on an issue.

Also, when I started writing in this class, I always felt like writing was a required task, not something that I could enjoy or that had many everyday uses. I also didn’t think that writing was worth much time and that writing papers actually made me more confused. Now, I feel like writing is important in my life both in and outside the classroom. Writing doesn’t cloud my mind; it shows me what I am thinking, even if what I’m thinking is a little cloudy and convoluted. Then, by examining what I am thinking on paper, I am better able to reflect on my thoughts and realize which thoughts are genuinely useful and logical and which are worthy of disposal. When I feel stressed about family affairs or about a bad night at hospice, writing lets me get my emotions out. Writing allows me to think practically about what decisions I make in life and which one are for the best and which are for the worse. Writing is not just something I do in class; it is something I can confidently do in life.